Low libido? It’s not just "in your head" - here’s what actually might be going on!

Hayley Down
Jul 8
3 min read

Right, let’s chat about all things low libido. That feeling when you’re just not that bothered about intimacy anymore, and you start thinking, “Is there something wrong with me?” Here’s the thing: it’s not just you. Honestly, your body’s probably trying to send you a message, but it’s a bit rubbish at communicating sometimes!

If you’re dealing with chronic hormone-related symptoms - whether that’s PCOS, endometriosis, fibroids, recurrent UTIs, PMS, fertility issues, or some unwanted symptoms after stopping the pill - you’ll know how frustrating it is when your s*x drive disappears. It’s like your mojo’s legged it, leaving you wondering what on earth happened. But before you start blaming yourself or thinking it’s all in your head, let’s unpack the real reasons your libido might be MIA - and why understanding your hormones is key to getting it back on track.

Hormonal contraception – the sneaky little libido thief!

How many of you have been on the pill and noticed your s*x drive taking a nosedive? Yep, you’re not imagining it. A lot of the common birth control pills contain synthetic hormones like progestin that can lower your testosterone levels - and yep, testosterone matters for your s*x drive, even if you’re not a bloke.

And here’s the annoying bit: even when you stop taking the pill, your hormones don’t always bounce back straight away. Your body can stay a bit out of whack for a while, leaving you feeling disconnected from yourself and your desires. That’s where tests like the DUTCH test come in – it gives you a comprehensive overview of what’s going on with your hormones so you’re not flying blind.

Chronic stress – the libido killer

Stress is the sneaky party pooper nobody invited, but it turns up anyway. When you’re constantly running on stress hormones like cortisol, your body switches off “non-essential” stuff - like fancying s*x. Sounds familiar?

The DUTCH test can map out your cortisol levels throughout the day, showing if you’re burnt out, wired but tired, or just plain knackered. Once you know your stress pattern, you can start making changes that help you feel like yourself again - because who wants to be too shattered for a bit of fun?

Breastfeeding & low libido

If you’re breastfeeding, low libido is totally normal and expected. Prolactin - the hormone that keeps your milk flowing - actually suppresses your s*x hormones like oestrogen and testosterone. Add to that the sleepless nights, being constantly touched out, and adjusting to a whole new version of yourself, and it’s no wonder your desire takes a back seat.

This isn’t you failing or being “less than.” It’s just biology doing its thing. You might have been told, or feel, that stopping breastfeeding will magically fix your low libido. While weaning does shift your hormones, rushing it before you’re ready can leave you feeling resentful or unhappy -and those feelings can actually put a dampener on your desire even more.

The good news? Your libido can and usually does come back in its own time, and there are ways to support your hormones and energy levels along the way. Being kind to yourself and giving your body what it needs is the best way to reconnect with your desire when you’re ready.

Could it be perimenopause?

Shockingly for some, perimenopause symptoms can start as early as 35 in some women. During this transition, as your oestrogen drops, you might notice vaginal dryness, discomfort during s*x, low desire, and feeling wiped out. It’s not in your head - your hormones are just being a drama queen!

Getting a DUTCH test during this phase can show if low oestrogen or imbalances with progesterone or testosterone are behind your symptoms - and help you find the right ways to feel better.

So, what now?

If you’re reading this thinking, “That sounds a lot like me,” know this: you don’t have to stay stuck. Your hormones are trying to tell you something, and with the right testing and personalised support, you can finally start making sense of the chaos.

I work with women who are done feeling “meh” all the time. Whether it’s PCOS, endometriosis, fertility struggles, or just the everyday hormonal rollercoaster, my mission is to help you get to the root cause of your symptoms - and make practical, realistic lifestyle and diet changes that actually suit you.

Because feeling brilliant all month long? That’s not just for the lucky few. It can be you, too!